When God Calls you Backwards
I realized after I posted my "spinning" video that I had not told many (any, really) people about what was coming next in life. So, as oppose to explaining it many times and reliving it all, I am writing down for all to see.
Earlier this year I was sitting in my boss's office, we were talking about what was coming next for me. I recently graduated from DTS and I thought doors would open and I prayed for whatever would come. I spoke to my boss through tears saying, “I hope God does not called me back into education.”
I said those words because I did not want to feel like a failure. A girl who quit a good education job to chase some big dream only to walk back with her tail between her legs. A girl who at thirty still did not know what she wanted. A girl who had big dreams but no way of seeing them through so she went back to what was safe.
I begged God for something. Anything.
During that prayer, I taught a Bible Study this summer. My friend, Sarah had the vision for a journey through the Old Testament. She wrote a beautiful study that pushed us through the desert, the valley and the fire. I taught our Wednesday night ladies.
Week two we were studying Hagar and the desert, I noticed that God called her back into her old surrounding.
He called her backwards.
I moved quickly from this story into the next two weeks praying that her story would not be my story. My story would be staying in the part-time internship. My story would be going somewhere, anywhere but Dallas.
This whole summer Hagar stood out to me. Her life, her journey, her backwards walk into her old surroundings. I never wanted her story. I wanted a different story.
But I knew in my heart that my story was going to be the story of Hagar. The story of being called back to where I came from.
Again, I begged. I held tight to my definition of the future.
Two weeks ago, I received a text asking if I would allow my resume to be passed on to a school. I was driving home and instead found myself in the parking lot of the school. I prayed for the staff, the students and myself. I cried tears of loss, tears of what I thought “next” would look like.
I found peace.
48 hours and an interview later I had a job offer. An offer to teach 6th grade math. An offer to go backwards.
Here I am now. 48 hours away from being an employee of Arlington ISD. 48 hours away from being the former intern of the women’s ministry of First Dallas. 48 hours away from a new season.
I can see the next journey and it is with joy and excitement that I walk back not as the same girl who left but as a girl who knows this is where she is supposed to be.
Not as a failure. As girl who knows backwards in God’s will better than anything forward outside His will.
My name is Liz and I teach 6th grade math. I am standing firm on who God is and walking confidently in the direction He is calling.
Till He calls me else where you can find me figuring out 6th grade math. You can also find me writing on here and working on my first Bible study. When I have a name for it I will let you know.